Purging my fantasy self.

Allison Anderson, a favorite vlogger of mine, introduced me to a new concept: the fantasy self.

Essentially, the fantasy self is what you wish you were. I’m not talking about dreams and aspirations – I’m talking about the unrealistic, or very far off, hopes we have. Such as: I wish I was taller, owned a boat, or could become a professional skier. The likelihood that any of these things happening easily or quickly is very slim. Yet, we hold onto these fantasies and even invest money into them, such as buying the most expensive, professional skis despite not living near any slopes.

In her video, Allison gives the example of holding on to a sweater that would look great paired over a swimsuit while on a boat. The problem: she doesn’t spend much time on boats. This sweater was part of her fantasy self, and she held onto the sweater just in case that fantasy came true. And what I have learned through my years of minimalistic pursuits is that holding on to things for unrealistic reasons produces guilt.

Today, I’m going to take a page out of Allison’s book and discover what she calls, “The power of recognizing your fantasy self in the process of simplifying your life.”

Here is a little about Fantasy Tess:

• She is very stylish. Fantasy Tess wears Pinterest-worthy outfits with perfect accessories. She is great at styling her hair, and even better at tying a neck scarf. You might find her walking through Copenhagen in heels and a Burberry trench coat. Fantasy Tess looks like this.
• She isn’t afraid to mix up her look. Fantasy Tess wears red lipstick on a Tuesday and a smokey eye on Saturday nights. She dyes her hair with the changing seasons.

Fantasy Tess isn’t real, and it is high time I recognize that. I do not enjoy wearing heels, so why do I have seven pairs? Lipstick is a hassle, especially when I will be eating (and I am always eating), so why do I have so many tubes? Red lipstick doesn’t even look good with my skin tone!

While I do want to take steps to become more stylish and not be afraid to go for a bold lip, I need to stop investing in the fantasy. I should style the clothing I have in new ways. I should try my hand at the lipstick colors I have that do suit my skin tone.

But I also need to purge this fantasy self because it is at odds with my real self. I enjoy being minimal and low maintenance; and my fantasy self is definitely not that. I do not need – and, more importantly, do not wear – five out of my seven pairs of heels. Time to donate those. I can also toss the red lipsticks that I have been toting around for years (especially since they are definitely expired by now).

I need to readjust my fantasy self, starting with a closet purge. Looking at unused heels and makeup only makes me feel guilty for being something I’m not even sure I want to be. And I would definitely hate to pack them up and move them again come June (I’m sooo close to finishing my MBA!).

For now, it is time to re-embrace my natural, simple, and easy style, so I can focus on the things that are most important to me at the present and kick my fantasy self to the curb.

-TM

Who is your fantasy self? Let us know below.