7. Living with Mom & Dad is Not Easy

IMG_1922Let me preface this post: I LOVE MY PARENTS. Seriously, I have some of the best parents a girl could ask for. They are loving, supportive, kind, funny, and smart. They always have my back. But living with my parents is not easy.

As I mentioned in this post, I have lived away from home for years. For five years, and I am only 23. Living with M+D is not hard because they are difficult people to live with, it is challenging because I am independent.

Here were my main concerns about moving back home:

  1. The ability to come and go as I please
  2. Having friends over
  3. How my cat will react
  4. Fitting my life into one room
  5. Would it feel like a step back?

Well, I have been living at home for one month now, so I feel qualified to make some assessments.

  1. The ability to come and go as I please – When I moved back home my parents never sat me down with a set of rules. We have an unspoken agreement of respect for each other, we always have. My parents have treated me like an adult since I moved back in. Which is great, because I am an adult. They respect my desire to meet up with old friends from High School and I respect their desire for us to have dinner together as a family. I keep my parents informed with my whereabouts because I know it gives them peace of mind. They know who I am with and where I am going and if plans change, I’ll shoot them a text. They have respected me coming in the door at 5am after hanging out with a friend down the street, and have respected me staying home and falling asleep dead tired at 8:30pm. They don’t judge me (at least not to my face) because I am open and honest with them. I don’t hide things or keep secrets or tell lies. We respect each other. So I have had total ability to come and go as I please. What I have discovered most though is that 9 times out of 10 I would rather stay home and watch a movie with my parents.
  2. Having friends over – This has probably been the hardest part about moving home. Having my own place allowed me to invite people over whenever I liked, and I could invite them to stay the night if necessary. Here, things are different. Since this is not my place, it is my parents’, I don’t really feel comfortable having friends over. The only really exception to this are very close/old friends that my parents have met many times before. For example, my best friend Jessie (you met her in this post) came down for Thanksgiving weekend and stayed with my family for 3 nights. It was a blast, and I’ll have a post about it up soon. With exception to close friends, I typically opt to meet friends at restaurants so we can be in ‘neutral’ territory.
  3. How my cat will react – I was really unsure how my cat Clea would react to living in Los Angeles. My parents have 2 dogs, Jimmy and Quincy, and we were all unsure how the animals would get along. At first, things were not looking promising and we all began to anticipate a long few months ahead of us. Luckily, we began to see improvements within the week. Quincy started showing less interest in Clea and Clea soon put Jimmy in his place with a few swats to his nose. After just three weeks of the animals living together, the animals would be caught all lying together on the bed! What an improvement. So overall, I think Clea likes it better here as I am not gone for a 12-hour day at work, so she gets a lot more lovin’!IMG_3329
  4. Fitting my life into one room – I was dreading this. I lived in a three-bedroom house, with a big kitchen and garage and living room, and it was furnished and full of my stuff! Knowing that I was going to have to pack up my life’s belongings and move it all into my childhood bedroom was daunting. So, I donated a ton of stuff and sold almost all of my furniture. Aside from my clothing and suitcases, I probably have about 6 boxes of belongings to my name. I feels damn good. Learning to live with less has been an amazing lesson. And It feels great to not be weighed down by stuff. When the time comes for me to move out and get my own apartment again, I’ll have the freedom to buy new things that might be more reflective of my current state of mind. I am finding excitement in life’s possibilities and the unknown.
  5. Would it feel like a step back? – Yes, it does. Living in the same room as when I was going through puberty does feel like a step back. The furniture is the same, the walls are still blue, and I still have a twin size bed. But all of that I can, and hopefully will, change. Why haven’t I changed it already, you ask? Well, I have actually been keeping pretty busy. And I also know that this is a temporary thing, living with my parents. If I get all settled in and comfortable in my bedroom, I might loose that one extra factor pushing me to keep the train moving on to the next station (aka, grad school, a new job, my own place). So for now, I am more willing to help transform this room into a nice guest room at my parents’ house, that I just happen to be staying in. I’m in the market for a queen size bed!
IMG_0243
My room as a teenager!

Although this was a hard move, with lots of pros and cons, I know it was the right move. Living with my parents again has been awesome and so rewarding. Family dinners and movies, taking my dad to doctor’s appointments, and just curling up with great books together is what this is all about. My family is my passion. My family is my happiness.

-TM

Have you ever moved back in with your parents? What was your experience like? Let me know.

 

 

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