Being ENFJ

IMG_1360Here is what being ENFJ means to Myers-Briggs and to me, Tess Meyer.

I recently took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality test on

Here is a little background about the test, according to the Myers & Briggs Foundation:

In developing the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, the aim of Isabel Briggs Myers, and her mother, Katharine Briggs, was to make the insights of type theory accessible to individuals and groups. They addressed the two related goals in the developments and application of the MBTI instrument:

-The identification of basic preferences of each of the four dichotomies specified or implicit in Jung’s theory.

-The identification and description of the 16 distinctive personality types that result from the interactions among the preferences.

Well, with my undergraduate degree in Psychology, I have taken this test before. But, with all of the changes and mental shifts I have gone through in the past five months, I was curious to take this test again.

Here is what I got:

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So, ENFJ-A. Sounds cool, but what is it? It means I am Extroverted as opposed to Introverted. I am Intuitive as opposed to Observant (FYI, they use an ‘N’ for Intuitive as ‘I’ already represents Introverted in the first section). I am more Feeling than Thinking focused. I am more prone to Judging rather than Prospecting when making decisions. And as an added bonus, I am Assertive, as opposed to Turbulent.

With respect to all traits but Energy (N), I score well over the 50% mark. Not only am I this EFJ person, but to an unabashed and unwavering extent. Energy, specifically being Intuitive, is the only trait that teeters in the middle. This isn’t completely surprising to me. I have always been more on the Observant side. Only recently have I began to trust my gut rather than follow social norms (is quitting my great job really a good idea? Is it actually smart to visit someone I haven’t seen in 9 years in New York? Should I try to co-pilot this plane right now?). But I have learned to throw some social norms to hell and go with my intuition. And I must say, it has brought me to some really amazing places. I think as I continue to develop as a person, this trait will only get stronger.

While on the subject of comparing results, the only other thing that has changed for me is my Nature. I have always been, and always tested as, a Thinker. Yet, with this test, I score a 76% Feeler. I have always been super analytical. Always head over heart, logic over emotions. If I am being honest, I still identify more with Thinker than Feeler. This, however, might go hand-in-hand with becoming more Intuitive. As I am trusting myself more and more, I am throwing logic to the wind to do what feels right. And let me say this: it feels damn good.

Here is a little summary about the ENFJ personality:Screen Shot 2016-02-24 at 10.13.40 PM

Well, I have to say, reading this makes me feel good. The quote David Deida feels spot on with where I am in life right now. I do feel that I have the ability to effect those around me, especially through the outlet of this blog. I do want to “inspire others to achieve and do good in the world”, so much so that I have created a future business model around this idea. One thing that really stood out to me in the above was “full of passion.” This step back in life has been my quest to learn what I am passionate about. The more I write and self-reflect, the more I realize that my passion is helping others find their passion. I am passionate about…passion? Is that even a thing?! Maybe I can make it one…Screen Shot 2016-02-24 at 10.14.10 PM

Here is the stand out thing to me with this result analysis: ENFJs “have a tremendous capacity for reflecting on and analyzing their own feelings.” This is 100% true for me. As I was saying earlier, my analytic side is strong. I mean, I devote hours of my week to nothing but sitting in front of my computer and putting my feelings, thoughts and emotions into words. This blog has only sharpened my ability to analyze and reflect on my feelings. (Maybe my blog is why I scored as a Feeler instead of a Thinker?)  I have never felt so in tune and connected to myself as I do now, and all this time for self-reflection has only made me love myself more.

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Many ENFJ are US Presidents. I’ve never had an interest in politics, but Tess Meyer for Prez 2016?! Here are a few slogan options: “Meyer for Hire 2016”, “Has No Political Experience, But Still A Better Option Than Trump”, “She’s Got A Passion For Passion. Yeah, It’s A Thing”, and “Feel The Fire That Is Tess Meyer”

Watch out White House…

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I feel like these strengths are pretty in line with ones I would have named for myself. Through my four years working for Target, I have learned the importance of being team-orientated and dependable. Although I was shy as a child, I have grown into my personality, now unafraid to let myself shine through and take the lead of my peers. Screen Shot 2016-02-24 at 10.17.19 PMAlthough I consider myself more of a realist than an idealist (too a fault), I do look for the best in people. I believe I can be too sensitive, not because I don’t have a think skin, but because I have such a desire to please those around me. When I am criticized, I don’t see it so much as failing at a task, but more as letting someone down. I disagree with the other three weaknesses listed. I am not “too selfless.” Although I try to do right by others, I always look to further my ‘agenda’ as well. My self-esteem is, and has always been, very high, and the #struggleisNOTreal when it comes to making tough decisions. If I am caught between a rock and a hard place, you can bet I will cut my arm off and climb out of that mountain. I’m a fighter, and I can make a tough decision because I can accept the consequences.

A better weakness for me would be “lack of sympathy.” I have long struggled to easily put myself in another’s shoes upon meeting him or her. I can be quick to judge and harsh with my ruling. This step back has done much to combat that. If you want to read more on this, check out my post Who Made Me Queen?

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Well, I have to agree with this 100%. I have never really dated much in my life, it was always single or in a relationship. Not sure if this is necessarily good or bad, but I definitely lead toward commitment. Like Etta James, “I want a love to last past Saturday night. I want a Sunday kind of love.” Screen Shot 2016-02-24 at 10.21.15 PM

Of course my friendships are very important to me. I make a big point of ensuring I take the time to see the people that mean the most to me, despite the distance. I have visited friends in three other states so far, and have planned many trips to see my friends living in Sacramento and San Francisco. With great friendships, distance means little.

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Well, once again, this test is spot on. I love meeting new people and have made some great friends through this blog and through my travels. And it definitely bring me much joy to see those I care about most happy.

Screen Shot 2016-02-24 at 10.23.19 PMWell, I don’t have any kids yet, but I do spend a couple hour each week with my cousin Emily and her babies Mason (2 years) and Jack (6 months). My cousin often playfully teases me for probing Mason. For instance, if he is being a fussy eater and is refusing my spoonful of yogurt, I will tell him, “Until you can tell me why you don’t want to eat yogurt, I am going to keep offering it to you.” With my undergraduate degrees in Psychology and Human Development, I just want the best for these boys, and until they can convince me with logic that they know better, I am going to keep offering that spoonful of yogurt.

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Although I would love for my future children to be brilliant, beautiful and the good kind of bizarre, I would be parentally fulfilled if only they act with benevolence.

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Like I said earlier! I definitely want to incorporate helping other find their passions into my future career. How is this quiz getting so many things correct? Self-fulfilling prophesy?

Screen Shot 2016-02-24 at 10.26.03 PMWhat interests me most about the above it the contrast drawn between careers geared toward community organization and operation (such as “HR administrator, event coordinators, and politicians”) and those careers “demanding exceptional situation awareness” (such as “law enforcement, military service, and emergency response”). I can personally speak to this comparison. When applying for Executive positions with Target, I was initially drawn to HR Executive. After spending some time shadowing a current HR Executive, I realized it was not the position for me and instead became an Assets Protection (AP) Executive. I spent two of my four years with Target as an AP Executive, working closely with my local law enforcement and personally lead all emergency responses within my store of 230 employees. Maybe this is what makes me unique as an ENFJ.Screen Shot 2016-02-24 at 10.27.20 PMScreen Shot 2016-02-24 at 10.27.49 PMDuring my time with Target I was often asked to take on new roles of varying levels of difficulty. Although my plate often felt very full, I used my ability to multitask and my love of a challenge to take on all that was asked of me. With 20/20 hindsight, I am so thankful for all of the duties I took on. Not only was it a huge compliment that my superiors trusted me with the work, it provided me with invaluable learning experiences (and great answers for future job interview questions). Screen Shot 2016-02-24 at 10.28.26 PMI have definitely found this to be true. In my past I have let coworkers’ problems not just find their way to my doorstep, but also enter into my home. Although I was able to put my foot down and make clear where the extent of my help and sympathies stopped, it was not easy to get there. Once again, another valuable lesson learned.

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Working with such a large team as we had at Target, I learned that we win and lose together. I quickly developed a ‘you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours’ mentality in the best sense of the phrase. Team work makes the dream work.

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Well, there you have it, what it means to be ENFJ. Overall, I think this test was extremely spot on. Although I am being lumped into a category, this test doesn’t make me feel de-individualized, it just makes me feel understood.


What is your personality type? Let us know below.

If you want to take the MBTI, click here. It is free and will take about 10 minutes.


13 thoughts on “Being ENFJ

  1. It’s so funny you posted on this, recently I mentioned this exact test to my boss and she’s had everyone on our team take it. I kind of want to write my own post on my personality type now, which is INTJ-A! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So weird how things happen like that!! You should definitely write a post about it! It is really interesting to explore what makes us the people that we are! Thanks for reading this very long post and for commenting!

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. As a fellow ENFJ who has been since then developing himself as well, I read this totally reminiscing on when I first learned about MBTI haha. Now even a year or so later I am still learning and diving deeper into myself. Great blog! I recommend to go past this surface level and learn about the functions! Very helpful. 🙂


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