Because life is too short.
I was talking to a friend about Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and she asked if I had read Sarah Knight’s The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck. Just based on how much Kondo’s book had inspired changes in my life, I knew I had to give Knight’s a read.
Here is the Amazon summary:
Are you stressed out, overbooked, and underwhelmed by life? Fed up with pleasing everyone else before you please yourself? It’s time to stop giving a f*ck.
This brilliant, hilarious, and practical parody of Marie Kondo’s bestseller The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up explains how to rid yourself of unwanted obligations, shame, and guilt–and give your f*cks instead to people and things that make you happy.
The easy-to-use, two-step NotSorry Method for mental decluttering will help you unleash the power of not giving a f*ck about:
- Family drama
- Having a “bikini body”
- Co-workers’ opinions, pets, and children
- And other bullsh*t!
And it will free you to spend your time, energy, and money on the things that really matter. So what are you waiting for? Stop giving a f*ck and start living your best life today!
Before I you get too deep into this, fair warning about the use of the word “fuck.” It will be used in this post and if that is something you, as Knight would say, “give a fuck about,” then you might want to tune back in next Wednesday for a fuck-free post. For those of you that are still with me, let’s drive right in.
First things first: why should we give less fucks? Simple: because life is too short. Our time, energy, and money are limited resources, and we too often allocate them to undeserving situations. Knight recommends that we keep these three resources in mind when deciding how and when to dole out our fucks.
I’ve been told the only thing we truly have control over is our attention, so why not focus it on something we give a fuck about? I find myself too often trying to be all things to all people, and it often leaves me feeling a little empty. So after reading this book, I feel inspired to put the things that I give a fuck about first. I want to put my time, energy, and money toward the things that bring me joy. And here is how Knight recommends I do it.
Step One: On Giving, and Not Giving, a Fuck
We give fucks out left and right, and some times we don’t even notice that we are doing it. Checking one SnapChat sent your way suddenly becomes watching all available stories. We drop all we are doing for an email, text, phone call, or knock at our front door. We don’t focus on our attention on the things that are most important to us, and we end up spending our time, energy, and money unwisely.
To correct this, we need to understand what it means to give a fuck. To me, it is as simple as asking yourself one or all of these questions:
- What is my goal here?
- Why am I doing this?
- How does this benefit me?
- Is this something I care about or support?
- Is this worth the time, energy, and/or money it will require?
If the answer to any of these questions is, “Hell yes” or “Because I love it, duh!” then, please, give a fuck and engage in that activity. But if the answer is, “I have no idea” or “Hell nah” then give no further fucks and move on to Step Two.
Step Two: Deciding Not to Give a Fuck
Believe it or not, the hardest part is over. You are no longer standing at the station in DecisionVille deciding if you want to board the NoFucks Express. Instead, you are shooting 100 MPHs straight past all of those stops that are not worth your time, energy, and/or money right now. Congratulations! You are on your way to becoming what Knight calls enlightened (sounds nice, huh?!).
But while your train is whizzing on by, you are going to need to spend some time, energy, and maybe even money realizing why that situation wasn’t something you wanted to throw any fucks at. Your introspection will be important because most situations that require fucks involve other people and their feelings.
Our goal here is to allocate your limited resources toward the things that bring you joy – not to piss off friends, family, and coworkers. So before you jump too quickly to Step Three and tell your boss that you “don’t give a fuck about Excel!” or let your mom know that “hell no, you aren’t flying home for another painful Thanksgiving dinner!” let’s take a pause.
You need to be able to respectfully communicate why you will not be giving that fuck (and your explanation probably should not actually include the world “fuck”). This step will be especially important if your fuck giving has been dependably counted on in the past, such as donation time at your church, annual holiday parties, or coaching your daughter’s Little League team.
To sum it up, don’t be an asshole.
Step Three: Not Giving a Fuck
Finally, we have made it to the step where we can actually not give a fuck. Woo hoo! Depending on the situation, you might have to explain your lack of fuck giving. If that is the case, please reference the final statement in Step Two.
Once your fuck hath not been giveth, play this song as celebration, and I damn well better see your middle fingers in the air. Sing it, B.
Step Four: The Magic of Not Giving a Fuck Dramatically Transforms Your Life
If you followed Knight’s steps, you have successfully not given a fuck and you haven’t offended anyone! You can now, guilt-free, devote your time, energy, and money toward the things that bring you joy. Welcome to enlightenment.
Just in case you didn’t give a fuck about reading every word I wrote, here is the major take-away:
Knight recommends taking some time to list out what you do and don’t give fucks about, AKA going through the barn. This will allow you to do some mental decluttering stress-free (basically, when you aren’t on the phone with your mom discussing Thanksgiving plans). Try this during Step One and add to your list as you get more confident with the NotSorry Method
So here is my short list:
3 Things I Don’t Give A Fuck About:
- Girl Scout’s Cookies – No, I do not want to spend my hard-earned cash on Thin Mints doled out on street corners.
- Wearing Heels – I really wish I had the desire to dress up in some gorgeous, strappy stilettos, but I love my feet too much to put them through that pain. Nikes it is.
- Coffee – I grew up in LA, where no self-respecting twenty-something walks the street without a green-strawed coffee in hand. I then moved to the land of Stumptown, where cold brew is revered like the Blood of Christ. But guess what – I don’t like coffee. Also, potatoes. Fuck potatoes.
3 Things I Do Give A Fuck About:
- Waiting for Pedestrians to Cross the Street – I’m not trying to kill anyone.
- Sleeping – Sleeping is one of my favorite activities and what I attribute to my successes. Eight hours for me each and every night, please and thank you.
- Achieving my New Year’s Resolutions – I am a total goal setter, so you can bet your bottom dollar that I am going to do anything possible to achieve my resolutions.
Overall, I did enjoy this book. It was a short, funny read with tons of applicable advice. It is worth your time, energy, and money if you feel, like I did, that you just give too many fucks.
What are some things you do or don’t give a fuck about? Let us know below.