Lost

Seeing the trees through the forest.

As I touched upon in my last post, writing this blog used to bring me so much joy and fulfillment. I was really eager to write back then. “Then” being about three years ago. But let me start from the beginning.

I started From Brown Eyes in 2015. I was immediately flooded with ideas and inspiration. And, admittedly, very little direction. From Brown Eyes was a place where I could think out loud. I was in a new and exciting point in my life with a lot of free time.

I never expected anyone would read it! I never promoted From Brown Eyes except for sharing it on my private Facebook and LinkedIn pages. But suddenly I had people reading my words from all around the world. In 2016, 238 people read my blog from Brazil alone. Let me tell you, I do not know 238 Brazilians.

So it took off in a way I wasn’t expecting nor prepared for. By 2017, my inspiration was all jumbled. In some posts I was having an Eat, Pray, Love moment and in others I was Gretchen Rubin-ing it up. Then I would be advice giving like Dear Sugar or living out my Travel Channel host fantasy like Samantha Brown. While I love and truly find inspiration in the work of these women, I couldn’t see the trees through the forest. I really needed to take a step back to find my direction.

Plus, by 2017 I was fully immersed in my MBA at the University of Oregon. It was one of the most amazing times of my life and Intense. As. Hell. I had pre-written many posts the summer before my MBA started, which was a godsend in the moments when Wednesday was approaching and I needed a new piece to publish as promised to my readers. However, this meant that what I published often wasn’t reflective of my life at that moment. Ultimately, I felt that From Brown Eyes was losing authenticity and that feeling lingered until I finished my MBA in 2018.

Then life became crazy in a different way – I moved to Sweden! By October of 2018, I was in a new country. While I thought moving to Europe would be the nudge I needed to reinvigorate my blog, it proved to be a beast of a totally different nature. A beast that will likely become its own From Brown Eyes series.

All this to say I became a little lost, and From Brown Eyes did too. And in all honesty, I am still lost. I’m not sure where I will take this blog next. I’m not sure what I’m ready to share and what still needs to be private. But I notice now that when I squint, drown out the noise, and focus, I’m starting to see the trees through the forest.

-TM

4 thoughts on “Lost

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